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Penis songs

 
 
     
 

There are not so many songs about penis size as there are songs about love. But here are some. Like love songs they are about love too - the love for big cocks.

 
     
 
     
 

Jonah Falcon & Adam Barta: 'It's Too Big

 
     
     
     
 

Buy the song HERE

 
     
 
     
 

My Dick by Mickey Avalon

 
 

My Dick lyrics

My dick cost a late night fee
Your dick got the HIV
My dick plays on the double feature screen
Your dick went straight to DVD

My dick bigger than a bridge
Your dick look like a little kids
My dick rush like the chargers (the whole team)
Your shit look like you fourteen

My dick locked in a cage (right)
Your dick suffer from stage fright
My dick so hot its stolen
Your dick look like Gary Coleman

My dick pink and big
Your dick stinks like shit
My dick got a caesar doo,
Your dick needs a tweezer dude

My dick is like supersize
Your dick look like two fries
My dick more mass than the Earth
Your dick half staff (it needs work)

My dick been there done that
Your dick sits there with dunce cap
My dick, V.I.P.
Your shit needs I.D.

[Repeat 2x]
It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.s. we got dicks like Jesus

My dick need no introduction
Your dick don't even function
My dick served a whole lunch-in
Your dick, it look like a munchkin

My dick size of a pumpkin
Your dick look like Macaulay Culkin
My dick good good lovin'
Your dick good for nothin'

My dick bench pressed 350
Your dick couldn’t shoplift at thrifty
My dick pretty damn skimpy
Your dick hungry as a hippy

My dick don't fit down the chimney
Your dick is like a kid from the Philippines
My dick is like an M16
Your dick, broken vending machine

My dick parts the seas
Your dick farts and quiefs
My dick rumble in the jungle
Your dick got touched by your uncle

My dick goes to yoga
Your dick fruit roll up
My dick grade a beef
Your dick may-day geek

My dick sick and dangerous
Your dick quick and painless
My dick 'nuff said.
Your dick loves sweat

[Repeat 2x]
It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.s. we got dicks like Jesus

 
     
 

 

 
     
 
     
 

20 Fingers: Short Dick Man

by Charlie Babie and Manfred Mohr

 
 

Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man

Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
Don't, don't, don't, don't

Don't want, don't want, don't want, don't want

Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man

Iny weeny teeny weeny
Shriveled little short dick man

Don't want,Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want,Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want,Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want,Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want,Don't want,Don't want,

What in the world is that thing?
Do you need some tweezers to put that thing away

That has got to be the smallest dick
I've ever seen in my whole life
I have ever seen in my whole life

Get the fuck outta here
Iny weeny teeny weeny
Shriveled little short dick man

Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want
Don't want
Don't want
Don't want
Don't want


Uh! Uh! Uh!
Uh! Uh! Uh!

Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!
Uh! Uh! Uh!

Isn't that cute an extra belly button
You need to put your pants back on honey


Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
Don't, don't, don't, don't

Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man

Iny wee(x15)

Iny weeny teeny weeny
Shriveled little short dick man

Pobre, pobrecito
Que diablo eso

Pobre, pobreci, pobre procito

Que, que, que, que, que diablo eso

Don't (X36)

 
     
 

 

 
 

Play the song

 
     
 
     
 

Perfect 10, The Beautiful South

 
  By Heaton/Rotheray
 
 
 

She's a perfect 10, but she wears a 12
Baby keep a little 2 for me
She could be sweet 16, bustin' out at the seams
It's still love in the first degree

When he's at my gate, with a big fat 8
You wanna see the smile on my face
And even at my door, with a poor poor 4
There ain't no man can replace

'Cause we love our love,
in different sizes
I love her body, especially the lies
Time takes it's toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight

If he's extra large well I'm in charge
I can work this thing on top
If he's XXL well what the hell
Every penny don't fit the slot

The anorexic chicks, the model 6
They don't hold no weight with me
Well 8 or 9, well that's just fine
But I like to hold something I can see

'Cause we love our love,
in different sizes
I love her body, especially the lies
Time takes it's toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight

I've bought a watch, to time your beauty
But I've had to fit a second hand
I've bought a calendar, and every month
Is taken up by lover man

'Cause we love our love,
in different sizes
I love her body, especially the lies
Time takes it's toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight

'Cause we love our love, in different sizes
I love her body, especially the lies
Time takes it's toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight

 
 

Play the song

 
     
 
 

Betty Blowtorch: Size Queen

If you're wondering who I am
Well I'm a girl who can handle a man
I don't have time for little boys
I want a man with man size toys

I am a size queen, down and dirty, just give it to me
I am a size queen, down and dirty, just give it to me

Oh yeah baby, you're so hot
Yeah, right

Have a drink and throw me down
I'm the sluttiest girl in town
Leather pants and high heeled shoes
Lipstick markings on your tattoos

I am a size queen, down and dirty, just give it to me
I am a size queen, down and dirty, just give it to me

Oh baby, oh yeah, oh
Yeah, right!

Yo, I'm Vanilla Ice and I'll be your dream
(From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/b/betty-blowtorch-lyrics/size-queen-lyrics.html)
So won't you open up your legs and I'll make you cream
Just like a waterfall
You know I got it all
A long white dick almost ten inches tall

M-hmmm

Pull it out and I'll be the judge
I'll let you know if you're well-hung
I'll feel you up and I'll check for size
If it's puny don't waste my time

I am a size queen, down and dirty, just give it to me
I am a size queen, down and dirty, just give it to me

Hey stud boy standin' there at the back of the bar
I bet you think you're real well hung
Yeah, right!

Oh, yeah...stick it in...

Oh, give it to me baby

 

 
 
     
 

Christina Aguilera: Cant Hold Us Down

 
     
  You're just a little boy,
Think you're so cute,so coy
You must talk so big, to make up for smaller things
You're just a little boy
All you'll do is annoy
You must talk so big, to make up for smaller things,
This is for my girls.
 
     
 
     
 

Some more songs:

 

o                           "My meat is murder"

  • Dyslexic Speedreaders (Mickey Avalon, Dirt Nasty, and Andre Legacy): My Dick "is like supersize"; your dick "is like two fries." It gets better (or worse) from there.
  • In Mc Chris's album Dungeon Master of Ceremonies, there is a skit where this is Lamp Shaded (so to speak). MC Chris learns that Jesus has a 4-foot penis, and asks if it hurts the women he has sex with. Jesus responds that he "magically extends their cervix up to about their chest area".

o           But it doesn't matter so much when you're having with dinosaur bird ladies.

  • Voltaire's "Worf's Revenge" To quote:

When the ladies see the beast I got between my thighs
They say "Perhaps today is a good day to die"

  • Then, there's Rodney Carrington's song, "12 inch dick, a dozen roses and a pickup truck." The song is a man singing about the three things he has that are going to make his woman happy tonight.

  • Butcher Pete by Roy Brown (part 1) (part 2) which was featured in Fallout 3, at first it sounds like a song about a Serial killer (fitting for the game) but if you pay attention you'll notice that it's actually about a Serial rapist (also fitting for the game) with a "long, sharp knife"

  • Amateur Transplants' "Titanic" subverts it:

"Suddenly you panic, my dick is titanic, you know it won't fit, it's too long
You scream, you're sick, it's eight inches thick, and we try but it all goes so wrong..."

  • Adam Sandler's 7 Foot Man from the Stan and Judy's Kid album.

"My last girlfriend died because my peniiiiiisssss...IS SEVEN FOOT WIIIIIIIIIDE!"

  • Frank Zappa's Bwana Dik from the Live at the Filmore '71 Album.

"My dick is a monster. Give me your heart. Bwana Dik is a legend, enormous thou art!"

 
     
 

 

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Singing Penis

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