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Penis size jokes



  Women see them. In magazines, ads, commercials, TV and movies. The real, sexy men. They also see them naked, as males are becoming more exposed. Women, even young girls, know how a man should look.  
  Men know how a man should look. They have even more chances to watch men, they see them naked in locker rooms and they see themselves.  
  The male body and the men's penises are exposed so much today, that nobody can believe any longer, that size does not matter.  
  As a discreet way to show how tired we are to pretend, lie and be careful not to hurt smalldicks, we make penis size jokes.  
  The jokes are not only a way to give a hint to smalldicks to learn their place, it is also a way to show how much we admire and appreciate real men, giving them the compliments they deserve.  
  The jokes are heard everywhere, it is no longer bad to make jokes about smalldicks or to show penis size preference by making a funny joke.  
  The jokes are becoming popular in media, as the producers of songs, films and series realize that the jokes reflect what people feel and that they are saying what many people still feel afraid to say themselves.  

In movies:

  Movies are full of penis size jokes. They are used for fun and also more seriously, to show smalldicks their place.  
  You would think these jokes are made in movies for adults only but they appear in all kind of movies. Even in cartoons for children.  


In Shrek, for instance, the "He must be compensating for something" was a marvelously witty line, because kids and young adolescents were able to see the humor as compensating for his stature; older adolescents and adults were able to see the line as compensating for a small penis. There are a few subtle jokes about the size of Lord Farquad's penis. (Farquad is short and some characters suggest he is "compensating for something" with his large castle).


In TV shows too:


"I just watched an episode of House: "the part of your cortex for penis size is set 'incredibley small'", Denise Richards reality show: "I just like a tall dark haired man with a big ____", Chelsea Lately: frequent gushing over big penises, Greek: harsh put downs of small penises, Two and a Half Men: constant references to Charlie Sheen's supposedly superior big penis. One instance, quite funny, I thought, even given the subject matter, was Charlie bringing home a beach girl. She wanted Charlie to surf with her. When Charlie's brother pointed out that he can't surf, Charlie said he gave her the wrong idea when she asked if he hangs ten and he said yes.
I can't recall them but I've seen at least 3-4 other references on that show.

I have no problem with any one joke it sends a message to everyone that if you're not big it's either a tragedy or cause for ridicule."

  More penis jokes and penis size comments in TV movies in TV & Movies  

In song lyrics too.

  Beautiful South song 'Perfect 10':

When he's at my gate
With a big fat 8
You wanna see the
smile on my face
And even at my door
With a poor poor 4
There ain't no man can replace
  More penis size lyrics in Songs  
  Penis jokes are always funny and appreciated. There are endless ways to make fun of smalldicks and new jokes are made all the time. Here are some.  
  When you got circumcised, did it take more than one try?

Your dick's so small, you can sodomize anys.

Your dick's so small, you can masturbate through the slits in a fork

Your dick's so small, you rent out the Hubbell when you have to piss.

Your dick's so small, bacteria laugh at it.

Your dick's so small, you could screw a pasta strainer.

Your dick's so small, the doctor wasn't quite sure what you were.

I never knew you could have a belly button under your stomach.

Your dick's so thin, I've seen paper clips wider.

Your dick's so crooked, it's like a compass, it always points north.

There's bread harder than your dick.

Your dick's so small, you could get a B.J. from a crease in a lip.

Your dick's so small, the police filed it a missing person.

Your dick's so small, a cop frisks you and asks, "Sex change?"

Your dick's so thin, you could turn it sideways and it'd disappear.

Your dick's so thin, Calista Flockhart (Ally McBeal) is jealous.

Your dick's so small, when you have sex, girls ask if it's in yet.

Your dick's so ugly, it's like a pimple with a pulse.

When you go swimming in cold water, does your dick get bigger?

Your confusin an inch with a foot again.

Your dick's so small, satisfying a woman for you is "Mission: Impossible".

There's a wrinkle in your pants, you hard?

How about I kick you in the nuts? That's a foot. Contrast and compare.

Your dick's so small, when you were born, the doctor smacked the wrong side.

 Are you ever gonna get that wart lanced?

What does a man with a small penis have for breakfast? (PAUSE) I dunno, what'd you have?


Your dick's so thin, paper called you up and said, "YOU BASTARD!"

Your dick's so small, it sleeps in a matchbox with a cotton swab pillow.

Your dick's so small, you'll never be half the man your mother was.

Your dick's so small, you could use a thimble and fishing line for a thong.

Your dick's so small, I haven't laughed that hard since I saw your balls.

Your dick's so small, your condoms look like the thumb of a latex glove.

I bet you can make your dick disappear by breathing in and out.

Your dick's so ugly it cries itself to sleep at night.

Your dick's so small, you stand next to a light switch naked all day crying.

You got less meat in your pants than there is in a vegetarian restaurant.

After hours of going at it with a woman, she yawns and asks if you're done yet.

Your dick's so small, it looks like one of the California raisins.

Your dick must be tiny, I heard you had sex with a shower head.

When you get hard it looks like a toothpick.

 Your dick's so thin, it represents Weight Watchers.

Your dick's so ugly, they put in fields to scare away the crows.

Your dick's so small, your girlfriend took it to court and they threw it out for lack of evidence.

The only time you can give a woman orgasm is when you pull out your American Express.

Your dick's so small, you think it's gonna explode when you cum.

Your doctor called he said you had a small problem.

You have to put the seat down to piss, right?

The only thing your dick's bigger than is a grain of dust.

Your dick's so small, you piss on your nuts.

Your dick's so small, sperm's a tight squeeze.

  Maybe if you water it, it'll grow.  

Its just a happy meal, you can't supersize it.

I'll go get the ketchup for your French fry.

So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

Tell him he needs to order a new package from UPS because the one he was born with is too small.

i sense a small penis in the room, my spidey senses are going off.

Dont go fishing, they throw the small ones back!!!!

Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.

You've got a
security breach at fort lendmeanotherwilly

I'm talking about Shaft, and your too small to dig it!

I've smoked fatter joints than that.

Ahh, it's cute.

 I'm sorry.

Who circumcised you?

Why don't we just cuddle?

You know they have surgery to fix that.

It's more fun to look at.

Make it dance.

You know... there's a tower in Italy like that.

Wow, and your feet are so big.

My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.

It's OK, we'll work around it.

Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?

Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.

Can I be honest with you?

My 8-year-old brother has one like that.

Let me go get my tweezers.

How sweet, you brought incense.

This explains your car.

Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.

Thanks, I needed a toothpick.

Are you one of those pygmies?

Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?

All right, a treasure hunt!

I didn't know they came that small.

Why is God punishing you (or ME for that matter)?

At least this won't take long.

Let's just stick with your hand.

Do you need a splint to prop that up.

How interesting...

I never saw one like that before.

But it still works right?

Do you take steroids?

I hear excessive masturbation shrinks your dick.

Maybe it looks better in natural light.

I think there's a dildo around here somewhere.

Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?

Let me know when you're done.

Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.

Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?

Aww, it's hiding.

Are you cold?

Is that an optical illusion?

What is that?

Does this run in your family?

I'll go get the ketchup for your French fry.

 Were you neutered?

It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

Does it come with an air pump?

So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

 Where are the puppet strings?

Deep throat? I doubt it'll reach my tongue!

Your big gun is more like a BB gun.

Can you get this pencil out of me now?

Do I hang my hat on it?

Look, it fits my Barbie clothes!

Don't hold back.

Nevermind, why bother?



Some jokes however, can be comforting for smalldicks:

  You have a small penis, but think of it this way, at least no woman will ever say it's too big.  

Do you have a penis size joke? Please send it.

Questions marked by * are required.
1. Name: *
2. My joke: *





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